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I failed miserably tonight. Lets see how you guys do. I apologize if this offends anyone- by no means did I intend to do so. Pull out your best stops.
How do you approach a lady?
Make it seem incidental. Say she's at the bar, I'll pull up alongside of her as if to order a drink, and frankly, I don't expect anything (that's the key)! If there's not a good chance to make casual conversation during my stop at the bar (her body language is closed i.e. back facing me, etc) then I'll just observe, relax, and try again later or wait for something to happen. Usually though (say 60%?) something happens that I can joke about aloud or comment on, for example:
- Barkeeps are overworked and take forever, maybe say out loud 'to her' "Geez they've only got one bartender on a Friday? Are you kidding me?" She'll say "Yeah it's ridiculous" (if she responds with anything other than an annoyed look you're in) you add "And if they play Gangnam Style one more time..." -- of course this kind of approach is a 'negative attitude' approach so try and keep it light and all in fun. If you go full negative attitude, then you HAVE to hit it off well enough to be like, "Seriously I usually like this bar but it sucks tonight -- you girls should come with us to Better Bar X" and you've got girls for the night
- She's wearing something funny, doing something weird/funny, drops something, forgets something at the bar, etc. This one's easy. Lightly and flirtatiously making fun of a girl in a bar can be dangerous if you come across as a prick, but if you have a good smirk/wink you can totally diss them and they'll love you for it. If you're a good samaritan, you're also in -- just make sure you immediately make conversation i.e. "Hey you forgot this" "Oh thanks" "No problem my Mom would be pissed if I didn't help you out" -- that extra statement is the hook -- if she says "That's nice, anyway my boyfriend's over there" then obviously it ain't happenin' -- if she says, "Aww she sounds sweet" then you can quickly shift from how much of a well-mannered momma's boy you must be to what she's up to in life, tonight, and right now
This is just a few scenarios off the top of my head, but the motif is that you just talk to her. Sometimes going right up in her face is too intense to ever work and is likely to steer a girl away because a)she's too nervous and not that easy and b)she thinks you're creepy for blatantly trying to talk to her and she would rather "pick" you as opposed to having some random jackass come out of the crowd and right up into her face. That's why you make it look like an accident that you ran into her -- like "oops you just happen to be someone I'm talking to nearby about what is generally going on in the bar" -- then flirt with her -- and most importantly -- don't HANG on her. Be the first one to leave the bar, and she'll want to come with you. Make up an excuse to go to another bar after a little while if you want to keep partying, and if she doesn't want to go or has friends holding her back, then GET HER NUMBER (she will give it to you if you're leaving her because you>her) and peace out. Text her in 2 days and see what she's up to, go from there.
But whatever works is the right move. If it feels right, do it, unless it hasn't worked the last 8 times......
Sorry that was so long, hope there's something worthwhile in there!
GO IRISH!! (Disclaimer: I am in a happy relationship and am in no way out looking for action at this time, thanks.)
2012 College Football Challenge Champion -- Bring it!
Now this is some funny shit.
look like Brad Pitt
or have as much money
Pretend that your cell phone is ringing and put it to your ear. Loud enough so she can hear, say, "Hey, Lou Somogyi, how are you?" She'll be all yours after that.
* Sole Member of Loner Monkey Gang
* 11-Time Winner of POTW Award
* Does Not Give A Sh*t
Chloroform works best for me.
2 time POTW winner on some dates I can't remember from 2yrs ago at BNG,
POTW: 1/3/11- 1/9/11, 6/20/11-6/26/11
I just ruined a 7 year relationship so outside of some bad jokes ^^^ I can't really give you much advice.
Think you're lying Turtle, too much good stuff now to be practicing it every now and then!! Maybe on away trips???
Gringo Mafia VP of Guinness Intake, once drank Guinness under the table while drinking Guinness with Guinness! POTW 12/24/12 and 7/8/13
Having a wingman is great, and having a wing woman is even better("preselection" is interesting). Build your wingman up, and vise versa, as opposed to building yourself up
When you enter whatever social venue you are going to, avoid looking around despite the temptation. 90% of people in these situations are observers, and observers are boring. Instead, be emphatically conversing with whomever you are with. Looking around conveys that you and your friends are not the most interesting people in the room, and you have lost some potential targets before you even began. A great example of this is girls taking pictures of themselves and each other while they are out. They are drawing attention to themselves, but by only interacting with each other.
Lastly, the bad news: if you could get a PhD in "pick-up", you would still fail your first time around if you had not practiced this silly little game. This is due in part to the fact that most guys do not have anywhere near the experience that women do playing this game, as women are hit on nightly, and most men do not make attempts nightly. So my final piece of advice: practice. You will become more comfortable over time, you will begin to recall more and more interesting stories about yourself and your friends, and learn from your mistakes.
Ask her if she wants to go for a ride in a fast car
or just a ride!!!!
Oh where to begin...
2011 B&G Poster of the Year, 2012 B&G Poster of the Year,
2013 B&G Poster of the Year, 2014 Preseason B&G Poster of the Year
Obviously there is no 1 way to approach a woman. But if you get to know one through organic means(intro through a mutual friend, or yes a fitting conversation at a bar in this example, etc etc), be attentive and imaginative with her. And take your time, let her come to you.
There are no shortcuts.
This post was edited by coachcft 16 months ago
You, my friend, are definitely my wingman when you visit Rochester, lol.
My luck with the Irish: 4-5, 3-time POTW
CMC Quote Master and Director of Football Related Discussions
5 Time POTW & 2 Time WPOTW Winner
Haha just like off hall pass. "Does this napkin smell like chloroform?" That was good stuff IB.
And if she doesn't seem to recognize the name, its time to walk away anyway.
The hitman artist formerly known as Acemang
"Hi, I'm (name)."
Works just fine.
A radio host out of Los Angeles, Tom Leykis, does a great job of answering this question. He takes questions on this topic every Thursday 5P-7P Pacific. His show can be heard anywhere in the world at blowmeuptom.com
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