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SOUTH BEND, IN
Blueandgold.com, a message board dedicated to Notre Dame football, among other things, found itself in a pickle this evening. And by pickle, I mean all hell broke loose. A made-for-TV story broke on Deadspin.com about Manti's true love, who tragically lost her life in a battle with leukemia. Only she didn't. Not she didn't have leukemia. She wasn't she. As in she didn't exist. The story, played over and over on TV 1,000 times since the supposed death, captured the emotions of everyone - not just Notre Dame fans. Te'o became America's linebacker.
This is like finding out AJ McCarron's girlfriend used to be a dude. So, not surprisingly, out came a thread to break the story. Then another one. Then the staff got involved. Another. Before you knew it, half a dozen threads all saying the same thing highlighted the message board. One involved a catfish.
"All I know is mine was there first," said IrishWon. "The others were following my lead. You see, I'm a leader. Always have been." IFR Incorporated could neither confirm nor deny if IrishWon has always been a leader. Another poster (we will call him Ham to protect his identity) added, "This is just too much. Lelly owes me about $300 worth of golf balls. See any threads about that? No, sir."
IFR Incorporated was able to confirm that Lelly, who has been MIA from the board since that one really little guy was Iowa's QB, does - in fact - owe Ham some golf balls. Further interviews garnered mixed reviews. Most wanted to take the wait-and-see approach, while others were more outspoken:
Said Pimpi, "Although I can't begin to tell you how tragic this whole story is, it has nothing to do with the 75% clearance sale we have going on this weekend only." We were able to confirm that Pimpi does, in fact, have a store. We could not confirm the sale this weekend, although as we were leaving a sign that read 75% OFF THIS WEEKEND ONLY appeared in the window of said store. It was not there before we interviewed him.
Outside of B&G Headquarters we ran into dpfenny and edd1066, both lifelong Notre Dame fans. We asked their thoughts on this whole situation. Dpfenny shook his head and thought for a moment, then started singing Notre Dame's fight song. Edd joined in, but took time afterward to say, "It's pandamonium. It's all over the news. This is going to be a long week."
"A very long week," added dpfenny.
IFR Incorporated refuses to comment on the story until more facts are known. We've tried multiple times to get in touch with Lou Somogyi since he knows everything, but were threatened by IllestDomer to leave while we still had healthy legs.
Until next time...
* Sole Member of Loner Monkey Gang
* 11-Time Winner of POTW Award
* Does Not Give A Sh*t
+1 from me my friend.
Desperately needed this laugh. Thanks!
My luck with the Irish: 4-5, 3-time POTW
I think my quote was taken out of context. Damn media.
3 time POTW;
I only wish that LELLY was a hoax.
I may not be pretty, but I'm fast.....
POTW 1/31/11 - 2/6/11
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